and you are
the sweet symphony
of tears
that lays me down
to sleep at night.

oh, such a sweet
and gentle sound,
like a hundred,
a thousand,
a million
screaming sighs.

(Monica Lin)

This poem is a published poem by a new author named Monica Lin. I own her book, Second Guessing, and it is a collection of her works. When I turned the page to this poem, I felt as if something lit up in me. This poem is like its very own love story, telling the tale of a broken man putting a woman to sleep, and that woman is the one who will fix him. This is a love story, and I am a sucker for love stories.

Dinosaur. When some people hear the word “dinosaur”, they think of T-Rex’s or some other big scary dinosaur. When I hear the word “dinosaur”,  I think of something completely different. I think of a big purple creature with a green belly. I think of a friendly beast that wouldn’t harm a fly. I think of my old childhood friend. I think of Barney.

Barney used to be my life. My first toy was a small purple Barney doll. I would never go anywhere without it. I was obsessed with that doll. Then I got introduced to his movies. Oh, what fun it was to spend every waking hour with Barney. I was never without my little purple dinosaur.

My parents told me that one day I accidentally broke his head. It was apparently the worst day of my life. I spent the whole day crying, and refusing to eat or do anything. I remember making him a little grave in our garden in California. They also told me that when they bought me another Barney doll, I was elated. I remember sewing him little clothes to wear, and trying to feed him some of my food so he wouldn’t starve. I still have that Barney doll.

I grew out of that phase, and many others after that, but it was an important part of my life. It was actually my first phase or fandom. Currently, I am engaged in a lot of fandoms, but I will always remember how Barney gave me a head start into this world.

 Photo Credit: Joe Shlabotnik via Compfight

The inky darkness swirled around me. I couldn’t see the light. I couldn’t see anything. I was alone.

The inability to find him, my mysterious Angel, scared me. Whenever I called for him, even in my dreams, he always came, until now. My eyes started adjusting to the darkness, slowly, but surely. My head was turning, front to back, side to side, trying to comprehend my surroundings. Finally I stopped looking. I kept seeing the same thing. Myself. The room was full of mirrors.

The thought that someone might, just might, rescue me brought a little happiness. I lay down on the floor, trying to go to sleep, seeing as I couldn’t do anything. Many hours passed, but I couldn’t go into a full sleep. I was in the middle, just at the edge of the land of nightmares. Suddenly, I saw it. Whether it was a trick of my imagination or not, I saw a light. It was just a small sliver, probably reflected by some of the looking glasses.

Instantaneously, I heard the euphonious sound of the violin being played, a harmonious symphony of notes emerging into one production. My legs felt like jelly, and I perceived that my body was slowly trudging its way towards a gigantic mirror. As I stood in front of the mirror, I couldn’t help but sing along to the melody that was being played by the violin. I felt my pitch go higher and higher and right as I reached the top note, the mirror collapsed, and in its place was a boat, wavering left and right, in a smoky river. I detected something wrong in the picture almost immediately: the Phantom was steering the boat.

I pivoted, quick as I could, trying to find a way out, but I was trapped. The Phantom grabbed my hand in one fluid motion, and put me down carefully onto the boat. “Am I now prey to your lust of flesh?” I questioned, furious.

“Oh Christine, turn around and face your fate: an eternity of this before your eyes”, he bellowed, maliciously.

All I could do, was cry.

Photo Credit: Emily’s mind via Compfight